This week on the UpLift Women’s Wellness Podcast, Auria, Emily Kirkbride, LMFT, and I sat down to talk about something that feels like a full‑time job these days: modern dating. Spoiler alert — it’s messy, it’s hilarious, and it’s not getting easier post‑2020.
🌿 What We Dug Into
Modern Dating Challenges: Online interactions can feel like fast food — quick, superficial, and unsatisfying. Ghosting and the lack of real community connections make it harder than ever to build something lasting.
Dating Strategies: Emily reminded us that sometimes the best way forward is the old‑school way — hobbies, public spaces, and even group dates after the first couple of meetups. It’s about seeing the whole person, not just their curated profile.
Red Flags: I called out the “peacock red flags” — those dazzling displays during the love‑bombing phase that can hide deeper issues. If it feels too shiny, it probably is.
Emotional Intimacy: We talked about how intimacy isn’t just physical. Social, emotional, and intellectual connection need to rise together. Premature sexual advances can shut down the other levels before they even get started.
Attachment Styles: Emily broke down the three big ones — Secure (“Anchor”), Anxious (“Wave”), and Avoidant (“Island”). The goal? Be the Anchor: steady, calm, and confident.
Relationship Health: Two qualities matter most: curiosity in conversation and the ability to repair after disagreements. If someone can apologize and try again, that’s gold.
Validation: Emotional intimacy thrives on validation. It’s not about fixing; it’s about saying, “That makes sense to me.”
Relationship Maintenance: Routines matter — nightly check‑ins, date nights, and keeping kindness + playfulness alive. Especially when life gets complicated (hello, kids).
💪 Why This Conversation Matters
Dating isn’t just about finding someone. It’s about finding someone who can grow with you. That’s the same philosophy we bring into Strength Coaching and Therapy with Auria: progress that respects your boundaries, builds confidence, and keeps connection at the center.
If you’ve ever felt unseen in dating, chances are you’ve felt unseen in wellness too. That’s why we built programs like:
Soft Start Series™ — easing back into strength without pressure.
Rooted in Strength™ — programming that blends science and lived experience.
Move to Mend™ — strength + support for rebuilding after burnout or injury.
The Nourished Method™ — nutrition strategies that respect dignity, not diets.
🛒 Support the Movement
Every podcast episode is part of a bigger rebellion against toxic culture. If you want to help us stay loud and local, check out the Head 2 Toe Strength Shop. Every tote, tee, and sticker fuels the work we’re doing to make wellness radically real.
📞 Ready to Connect?
Sometimes listening isn’t enough. If you’re ready to step into care without compromise, book your Alignment Call. It’s free, it’s 15 minutes, and it’s the easiest way to see if our model fits your life.
🌿 Bottom line: Dating may be chaotic, but building secure relationships is possible when you focus on curiosity, repair, and validation. That’s the same energy we bring into Head 2 Toe Strength — care that’s steady, inclusive, and unapologetically different.
Show Notes
Key Discussion Points
The Modern Dating Landscape: Discussion on the difficulties of dating after 2020, including the rise of ghosting, superficial online connections, and the loss of the "group mindset" in finding partners.
Strategies for Connection: Ideas for shifting away from app-only dating, including prioritizing in-person interactions, meeting people through shared hobbies, and utilizing group dates after the first or second individual date to let a potential partner be "interviewed by the village."
Red Flags and Infatuation: Identifying "peacock red flags" that can be masked by "love-bombing" and initial infatuation, and the challenge of discerning genuine connection in the early stages.
The Four Intimacies: The importance of all levels of intimacy (social, physical, emotional, and intellectual) rising at similar rates, noting that online dating often prematurely prioritizes physical intimacy.
Validation and Conflict Repair: Emily explains that validation is key to emotional safety and does not mean agreement, but rather acknowledging a partner’s experience as real (e.g., "That makes sense to me"). The ability to repair after conflict, apologize, and convey "I am for you" is crucial for long-term health.
Understanding Attachment: A breakdown of attachment styles—secure ("Anchor"), anxious ("Wave"), and avoidant ("Island")—and how to identify and embody the secure "Anchor" attachment in dating.
Prioritizing Partnership: The necessity of establishing consistent connection routines (like a weekly date night, as exemplified by a Netflix CEO) to combat the natural drop in marital satisfaction that often occurs after having children.
Guest Information
Emily Kirkbride, LMFT is licensed in California, Arizona, and Florida, specializing in helping individuals heal from past traumas to achieve an integrated and secure self. She is passionate about couples and relationship work.
Email: emily@emilykirkbride.com
Social Media: @movetowardshealing
